Ok so I have been under the weather the last 2 days and home from work, so I figured it was time for a post.
School has started. Bleh. I hate school. Well not so much school, but the getting up at 7 and not coming home from work till 7, then doing homework all night while trying to find time to work out. Joel is working 30 hours a week and taking 16 credits, And still managing to do it happily. I dont get it, he loves school and learning and whatnot (?) Ha I guess thats good though because hes got quite a bit left. I wish I could be more like him.
Ive been feeling kind of weird lately. I dont know what brought it on, but its strange. I guess it anxiousness now that I think about it. I want to be done with school and able to start a family and stay home and cuddle them all day. I want all these things im looking forward to, to be happening now.
Everyone keeps saying these are the best times of your life, and I AM happy, I just wish I could fast forward sometimes. I think most of this is stemming from how UNHAPPY I am at my job. Its a great job, its just stressful and not something I even remotely enjoy. and its depressing to think I have to keep doing it for the next 2 years. Ill have been there for 2 years in October, half way right?
I hear girls who are making dinner everynight and doing all these crafts and projects and Im like, WHO THE CRAP HAS TIME TO DO THAT??? I LOVE being at home and cleaning, and cooking muffins and making my home a comfy, warm place to be, but I feel like I cant do it how I want because of all this other crap. I cant wait until the days of school and work are done for me and I can be a mom and wife full time. I guess ill get there, I just need to be patient.
[This post was supposed to have all the pics and stories from our vacation to Cali, but it just didnt turn out that way, ill post them tomorrow]
I cant resist posting these though, Baby Talon is so cute, and my husband is hot so I have to share :)
After Talons Blessing 8/29/2010
Isnt he adorable??
sorry about your job. i can relate.
ReplyDeletethis is something i talked to my friend about the other day. my mom has always told me that its so sad and such a bad idea to wish your life away. i think i posted about it a while ago actually. its hard not to do (because i do it too!) but stop wishing you could fast forward..because you will get there and one day wish you could go back to the simple days when it was just you, joel and miley :)
sure youll have more money, more time to spend with your family, and all that wonderful stuff that we all want...but its the hard stuff and the crazy years that make the best stories and teaching tools for your kids, right? just think of it as lesson preparation for your future family haha.
remember pres. hinckley said "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured!"
i love ya. i wish i could see ya more often. i miss yo face gurrrl. pencil me in when you have some free time :)
xoxo
steph
just to be clear...
ReplyDeletei didnt mean for that to sound rude.
i do the same thing all the time. i could have written this post myself. i always find myself wishing tyson could be done with school and i could be having babies and stuff. but i have to remind myself that there is a time for everything, and now is just not the right time for us. and besides, i am looking forward to the next few years of our lives because they are going to SUCK, we are going to be dirt poor, all alone, and we are going to grow so much as a couple because of it..and i think that is going to help prepare us for what is to come.
you'll know when the time is right. hang in there.
oh and if you break our deal, ill still be your friend :)
i agree with you on pretty much every point. i wish i could have babies sooner, wish school was over. and and and. i agree! everyone is amazing cooks. me not so much. but i don't have time or money to cook what i want. one day, i hopefully will be domestic.
ReplyDeletebut the thing that keeps me going, is that i will be able to enjoy my babies more, because finances (hopefully) won't be a constant worry. and we won't ever regret going to school, rather than not going.
(and i can afford to buy them cute clothes, hopefully :))
i have to remind myself, school really is worth it. we'll be glad we got an education. just in case.
love you. if you need someone to vent to, i'm your girl!
molly
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