eeerrr?

So we were supposed to close on our house today. But we ended up backing out at the last second. The whole time I had had bad feelings about it, but I kept telling myself it was because it was our first house and its a big step, that it was normal to have doubts. But there were so many red flags (things wrong with the house, things the seller did to cover things up..etc)

Joel and I have been praying to know whether we were making the right decision to buy it- and I was a little discouraged that I hadnt really gotten an answer. So I thought back to a John Bytheway talk about how sometimes not getting a "no" answer to your prayer is kind of like getting a "yes". So I figured it was a green light. But I couldnt shrug off all of the people telling us "there are too many weird things about the house..." "Too many red flags..." I found myself justifying buying the house despite those things. I would say well any house that old would have some things wrong, or we've already spent so much on the inspection and appraisal.....Basically I was looking at it emotionally rather than logically (which is what my dad and Joel kept telling me, but of course I said I wasnt.)

So Joel and I decided to go look at the house one last time yesterday evening. As we were walking through it we started talking about the things we did and didnt like about the house. AND started noticing some oddities. After Joel finished commenting on how when he walked through the center of the living room his head almost hit the bottom of the fan, he asked if I really thought we should buy the house. I immediatley heard, "No." Not from in my head- but like I HEARD it. Then as I thought, the word No, I felt...right inside. I cant really explain it- but when I said it outloud to Joel I knew that I had gotten my answer- I felt warm and good and relieved! and of course I became emotional and had to keep myself from crying. :)

This answer also put me into immediate despair as we walked back into our half packed, messy house that we have to be out of by Sunday.

But Joel, being the amazing man that he is, said we needed to get out of the house and just drive. So we did. And I cried. But the more we talked and started looking at other houses the better I felt. And when we got home it was like a huge weight of doubt that I had been carrying around with me was gone.

I still dont know how we are going to get everything out by Sunday or where its all going, but thats ok, I know we will figure it out. I am so thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father who KNOWS what is best for us and helps us get to it when we ask. I am also thankful for a husband who always knows what I need- how to get me back on track. :)